Nothing But Love
by Butterflies Of Beauty
Summary: special project 1! for you, csi-kirsty. happy birthday!
1. Author note

Author note

Hi and welcome to my author note. This story is special in a lot of ways, so I'm going to count hoorays!

Hooray 1: I just have to talk about Evanescence. It's my favorite band and I'm using two songs of them, of which I'm using one two times. They make great music! It's special to me, so a hooray for them.  
Hooray 2: it's my first attempt on smut or fluff, or whatever you call it. It's not great but I tried.  
Hooray 3: it's my first songfic! I love music, so I thought making a story with it was a good idea.  
Hooray 4: it has more than fifteen chapters! For me, that is special, because I'm not good at writing my thoughts down.  
Hooray 5: I've discovered something I'm good at: writing songfics!  
Hooray 6: six is the number of the devil. There are no devils in this story. Only love and a little hurt, but it will be alright. (why is this a hooray?)  
Hooray 7: it's my seventh story. Or at least it was when I was writing this author note. My favorite number is seven, so to me it is special.  
Hooray 8: it's my first complete story. I know that, because I'm going to post it all in one time.  
Hooray 9: in the show, they met nine years ago! Maybe with you it's different, but here we are in the middle of season eight.  
Hooray 10: this songfic has sixteen (well, fifteen) songs! I love songs!  
Hooray 11: I know my own name! sorry, just kidding, eleven is the crazy number, so I thought I should do something crazy. Instead of that, I just do something else, because I would never forget my own name. random thing: if all those stories I read would be true, Sara and Grissom would have married more then fifty times and they would cheat too (I'm referring to the stories in my favourites).  
Hooray 12: I'm sixteen! Lol, I just don't know what to write anymore. I'll turn seventeen in December, but that's not the point here, the sixteen is.  
Hooray 13: I don't like thirteen, it's the number for bad luck. But I'm going to tell you about a story, Catherines plan by csi-kirsty. It's a great story and there is a part in chapter thirteen that points to it (Catherines plans never fail).  
Hooray 14: I've got fourteen songs in my favourite playlist! Again, I just don't know what to write, I just want to make it to sixteen hoorays.  
Hooray 15: this is a really long author note for me. And I just don't know what to write anymore but writing about weird stuff.  
Hooray 16: I think you are all wondering about the hoorays or the sixteen coming back, so I'll explain in the most important, sixteenth and last one. It's csi-kirstys birthday! She turns sixteen and this is for her. Happy birthday!

Here are the songs I used. The names and singers will be in the chapters, but I'm putting it here too, so you can see it in a list:

evanescence – my immortal  
12 stones – broken  
linkin park – leave out all the rest  
rihanna – unfaithful  
Aly and AJ – potential breakup song  
evanescence – bring me to life  
evanescence – bring me to life  
ne-yo – closer  
the veronicas – untouched  
sara bareilles – one sweet love  
k-otic – I can't explain  
30 seconds to mars – a beautiful lie  
natalie – love you so  
apocalyptica – bittersweet  
chris brown ft. jordin sparks – no air  
hoobastank – from the heart

for the singer of song 14, just practice and you will be able to pronounce it without mistakes, I could do it and they sing great!

before this starts, a disclaimer. I don't own anything, the computer I'm writing on was a birthday gift. And now, sit back, read and enjoy the story! I don't know when it is set, but Warrick is ok and Sara never left.


	2. Everything starts

Everything starts

Sara was happy. And she was sad. After all those years they had kissed. Finally. But he had sent her away. He couldn't handle it. Why couldn't he just admit to himself he loved her. 'cause she knew. She could see it. But he acted like a child, who had to have permission before he did something. He was stubborn. She got inside her car to drive home automatically the radio started to play. …and now it's time for another song, My immortal by evanescence. She just listened.

**_I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone_**

She sighed. The song fitted. She was really tired and she just couldn't forget him. Why wouldn't he just leave her mind alone when the only thing he did was rejecting her? She just had to be with him, but he didn't answer.

**_These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase  
He had rejected her too much. The time couldn't heal her wounds. It felt too real  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me..._**

She had helped him. She had wiped away his tears -sometimes just to touch him-, she fought his fears with him and she held his hand when he was scared. So, it was only in her dreams, but that was because he always sort of pushed her away when he was hurt. How could this man control her mind?

**_You used to captivate me  
By your resonating light  
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
Your face it haunts  
My once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away  
All the sanity in me_**

His face haunted her dreams, his voice chased away her sanity and the only thing he did was keep rejecting her. Why did her life had to be so difficult? Why didn't he just said 'I love you' to her? Was it really so difficult?

**_These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase  
_**  
Why did he hurt her so much? He could see he hurt her, but he just refused to act on his feelings.

**_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me..._**

How could he control her, but let her go at the same time? It was impossible, it could never work. But it was real. He had done it. She had to do something about it and she had to do it soon.

**_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along_**

She had a plan. She should try dating again. She knew a man from college. Maybe she should call him. Maybe he would notice her then. Yes, this was the way. She had made up her mind

**_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me..._**

She turned off the radio and realized she was home already. She got inside and headed for the phone. It was time to make Grissom come out of his shell and see her. He wouldn't like it, but maybe it would work.


	3. Time to tell or maybe not?

Time to tell… or maybe not?

Grissom was sitting in his office, thinking. What had he done? He had kissed her and then he had sent her away. It was stupid. But what part, the kissing or sending her away? How could this woman let him feel this things? Maybe some music would help. He turned on the radio only to hear a song that not really helped.

**_Alone again, again alone  
Patiently waiting by the phone  
Hoping that you will call me home  
The pain inside my love denied  
Hopes and dreams swallowed by pride  
Everything I need it lies in you_**

He was thinking to himself. Why did he loved her so much, more then every other woman he ever knew? Why was he hoping that it was her every time he heard his phone? Why did he needed her so much? He wasn't a guy who just threw caution in the wind and would go for it, he wanted to take it slow. His mind wanted that. His heart wanted to do the complete opposite

'**_Cause I'm broken  
I know I need you now  
'Cause deep inside I'm broken  
You see the way I live  
I know I know your heart is broken  
When I turn away  
I need to be broken  
Take the pain away_**

He could see her heart break every time he rejected her, but his brain kept saying to him to let her go. It tore him in two pieces, one wanted to do everything for her and one said he had to stop thinking about her, because she would be happier with some younger guy.

**_I question why you chose to die  
When you knew your truth I would deny  
You look at me  
The tears begin to fall  
And all in all faith is blind  
But I fail time after time  
Daily in my sin I take your life_**

She died every time he rejected her, why kept he doing it? Why was his brain stronger than his heart? Every time he talked to her, his mind took over and he failed to say how he felt about her. No, not in the past, what he feels for her, present time. He thought about the thing he bought for her. He wanted to give it to her, but his brain had ruined it.

**_All the hate deep inside  
Slowly covering my eyes  
All these things I hide  
Away from you again  
All this fear holding me  
My heart is cold and I believe  
Nothing's gonna change  
Until I'm broken_**

_And this was 12 stones with broken, next on…_

He turned of the radio and got to his car. It was time to go home. He had to think.


	4. Can't handle it

Can't handle it

Sara and the rest of the team were sitting in the breakroom, waiting to get assignments. She talked to Catherine about Hank, they were dating again. A few minutes later, Grissom walked in and started to hand out the assignments. "Warrick and Catherine, you have a DB at the strip, try not to miss it, it's in a small alley. Nick and Greg, a B&E just outside the city, meet Jim, he will take you there. And Sara, we have a man who confessed the murder on his wife, what is a little odd, because she's still alive. We have to look if he's on something. And I would like a word with you in my office" he said, before walking away. She smiled inside, he had heard her talking with Catherine and now he was jealous, it had to be that. When she walked inside his office a few minutes later, she heard the radio play a song she knew, leave out all the rest by linkin park.

**_I dreamed I was missing  
You were so scared.  
But no one would listen  
Cause no one else cared.  
After my dreaming  
I woke with this fear.  
What am I leaving,  
When I am done here?_**

"So, you've been dating Hank again" he asked. She didn't liked how he said it, like she couldn't take care of herself. "That's none of your business." She replied.

**_So if you're asking me I want you to know  
There was a uncomfortable silence, neither of them spoke  
When my time comes  
Forget the wrong that I've done  
Help me leave behind some  
reasons to be missed.  
Don't resent me  
And when you're feeling empty  
Keep me in your memory  
Leave out all the rest  
_****_Leave out all the rest._**

"It is my business, the last time you dated him he cheated on you" Grissom said, he just wanted her for himself

**_Don't be afraid  
I've taking my beating  
I've shared what I've made  
I'm strong on the surface  
Not all the way through.  
I've never been perfect  
But neither have you._**

"Still none of your business, I can take care of myself and you can't tell me who I'm dating" Sara was confused, this wasn't going like she planned. She had thought Grissom wouldn't talk to her about it, but now it was going out of hand.

**_So if you're asking me I want you to know  
_**  
another silence. It was almost killing the both of them

**_When my time comes  
Forget the wrong that I've done  
Help me leave behind some  
reasons to be missed.  
Don't resent me  
And when you're feeling empty  
Keep me in your memory  
Leave out all the rest  
_****_Leave out all the rest._**

"Please Sara, I don't think you can't take care of yourself, I just don't want you to get hurt" he spoke, before mentally slapping himself. He couldn't say he loved her, he couldn't handle it yet

**_Forgetting  
All the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well.  
Pretending  
Someone else can come and save me from myself.  
I can't be who you are_**

She was loosing control and started to shout. "Yeah? So why did you hurt me so many times? Like when I asked you to have dinner with me and you said no? Or when you kissed me and just had sent me away? Or by going to another woman, thinking I wouldn't know? Sorry, but you've hurt me more then he did! So why are you saying you don't want to hurt me?" she stopped shouting and waited for a response.

**_When my time comes  
Forget the wrong that I've done  
Help me leave behind some  
reasons to be missed.  
Don't resent me  
And when you're feeling empty  
Keep me in your memory  
Leave out all the rest  
_****_Leave out all the rest._**

She looked at him. "So, you don't have a answer? Fine, then I'm going. Handle the case on your own." She said before she walked away. "Sara, wait!" he shouted at her, but he was to late, she had already slammed the door.

**_Forgetting  
All the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well.  
Pretending  
Someone else can come and save me from myself.  
I can't be who you are,  
I can't be who you are_**

He sat behind his desk, the last notes of the song coming from the radio. It was about what he thought he would do, but he did the complete opposite. He started to cry, not knowing that she did the same while sitting somewhere else.


	5. Thinking about him

Thinking about him

Sara was sitting in her car. She was going to Hank, they were going out tonight. But something didn't felt right. She knew what it was, but she didn't wanted it to be the reason. It was Grissom. He'd said that Hank only was going to hurt her, and even if she didn't wanted it to be true, she knew it was just that. She put on the radio to get a diversion, but it didn't helped. The song that was on was rihanna with unfaithful and it got her thinking about Grissom again.

**_Story of my life  
searching for the right, but it keeps avoiding me  
Sorrow in my soul, 'cause it seems that wrong  
really loves my company  
He's more than a man, and this is more than love  
the reason that the sky is blue  
The clouds are rollin' in,  
because I'm gone again  
and to him I just can't be true  
_**  
What was she thinking? Why did she wanted to make him jealous, the problem wasn't that he didn't loved her, he just didn't knew what to do. Maybe she had to try again.

**_And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful  
and it kills him inside  
To know that I am happy with some other guy  
I can see him dying  
I don't wanna do this anymore,  
I don't wanna be the reason why  
Every time I walk out the door, I see him die a little more inside  
I don't wanna hurt him anymore  
I don't wanna take away his life  
I don't wanna be  
a murderer_**

She had seen him this morning, when she got to her car. He looked sad. Maybe he knew where she was going. And at that moment, that one moment, she felt like she was unfaithful. It was gone in a second. But it kept her thinking. She wasn't with him, but still she felt like she betrayed him. She just didn't knew what to do.

**_I feel it in the air, as I'm doin' my hair,  
preparing for another date  
A kiss upon my cheek, it's here in lucktely  
as if I'm gonna be out late  
I say "I won't be long. Just hangin' with the girls."  
A lie I didn't had to tell  
Because we both know, where I'm about to go  
and we know it very well_**

He had walked over to her car and asked her what she was going to do. She said she was just going home and rest a bit, but she knew he didn't believed that. He knew she had a date and she knew he didn't liked it. But she couldn't help herself. She was hurt by him and she wanted him to feel the same, even if it just was for one time.

'**_Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful  
and it kills him inside  
To know that I am happy with some other guy  
I can see him dying  
I don't wanna do this anymore  
I don't wanna be the reason why,  
Every time I walk out the door, I see him die a little more inside  
I don't wanna hurt him anymore  
I don't wanna take away his life  
I don't wanna be  
a murderer_**

Every time she had seen him in the lab, she could see he was hurt. And every time she passed the information board and saw that she had the night off, she could feel his hurting, he knew what she was planning to do that night and he didn't liked it. It killed him every time he thought about it, but she wasn't going to give in. Or should she?

**_Our love, his trust  
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head  
Get it over with  
_****_I don't want to do this anymore  
_****_whoa-oooh  
_****_anymore_**

She didn't knew what to do anymore. Should she stay with Hank and hope he wouldn't cheat on her this time? Or should she break up with him and again trying to get Grissom to go at least on one date with her? She almost started to cry, but kept herself from doing so. She had a date and she didn't wanted it to be ruined by her crying.

**_I don't wanna do this anymore  
I don't wanna be the reason why  
And every time I walk out the door  
I see him die a little more inside  
And I don't wanna hurt him anymore  
I don't wanna take away his life  
I don't wanna be  
a murderer  
ooh_**

When she stopped outside the place they had agreed to meet. She saw immediately the answer to her last question. Hank was sitting there with another woman. He kissed her.

**A murderer**

She was going to break up with him. She parked her car and walked inside. As soon as Hank saw her, he turned pale. He started to stand, to take her somewhere private because he knew what was coming. She didn't let him and just shouted to him that they were over and that she never wanted to see him again before walking away again, leaving him with a very angry date.


	6. Not over yet

Not over yet

Sara sat on her couch. Why was her life so difficult? She turned her TV on at the music channel, at the time someone knocked at the door. Without looking who it was she opened it, only to be pushed aside by Hank. He started to sit down on her couch when a new song started to play: _And this is the potential breakup song, by Aly and AJ._

**_It took too long  
It took too long  
It took to long for you to call back  
And normally I would just forget that  
Except for the fact it was my birthday  
My stupid birthday  
I played along  
I played along  
I played along, rolled right off my back  
But obviously my armor was cracked  
What kind of boyfriend would forget that?  
Who would forget that?_**

"What are you doing here?" Sara asked furious when he didn't said anything, while still standing at the open door, not wanting to close it, because that would mean she wanted him there. He didn't answer.  
**_  
The type of guy who doesn't see  
What he has until she leaves  
Don't let me go  
Cuz without me, you know you're lost  
Wise up now or pay the cost  
Soon you will know_**

"Again, what are you doing here? Do you want to make my day even worse?". he still didn't answer. "Just say something or leave!" she shouted. She saw he was looking for words to explain.  
**_  
You're not livin' 'till you're livin'  
Livin' with me  
You're not winnin' 'till you're winnin'  
Winnin' me  
You're not gettin' 'till you're gettin'  
Gettin' to me  
You're not livin' 'till you're livin'  
Livin' for me  
This is the potential breakup song  
Our album needs just one  
Oh baby please  
Please tell me_**

He found what to say. "It was just an old friend, sorry I didn't told you about her". She didn't believe him. "Yeah, that was probably why you were kissing her. Now get lost!"  
**_  
We got along  
We got along  
We got along until you did that  
Now all I want is just my stuff back  
Do you get that?  
Let me repeat that  
I want my stuff back  
You can send it in a box  
I don't care just drop it off  
I won't be home  
Cuz without me, you know you're lost  
Minus you I'm better off  
Soon you will know_**

"I said get lost!". He didn't left. "Sara, I want to try, I want to try this with you. I didn't meant to kiss that woman, she just got to me and she surprised me". She started to believe him and stood there, thinking.  
**_  
You're not livin' 'till you're livin'  
Livin' with me  
You're not winnin' 'till you're winnin'  
Winnin' me  
You're not gettin' 'till you're gettin'  
Gettin' to me  
You're not livin' 'till you're livin'  
Livin' for me_**

She started to close the door, but then she saw the smile on his face. The bastard! He wanted her to close that door, then he would win! But why? She just stood there thinking while his smile slowly faded  
**_  
You can try, you can try  
You know I know it'll be a lie  
Without me you're gonna cry  
So you better think clearly, clearly  
Before you nearly, nearly  
Mess up the situation that you're gonna miss dearly, dearly  
C'mon_**

He just wanted to sleep with her. She had ruined his plans with that other woman, and now he wanted her. Now she had two choices. One, she could do it, she could sleep with him and get a little fun and make Grissom jealous at the same time. Or two, she could get mad at him and send him away and maybe, maybe Grissom would comfort her. She chuckled. Yeah right, like that was going to happen. She just stood there thinking some more.  
**_  
You're not livin' 'till you're livin'  
Livin' with me  
You're not winnin' 'till you're winnin'  
Winnin' me  
You're not gettin' 'till you're gettin'  
Gettin' to me  
You  
You're not livin' 'till you're livin'  
Livin' for me_**

She had made up her mind. Option one seemed like the best, but she knew she couldn't do it. She couldn't hurt Grissom like that. She wasn't going to lower herself to that level. So she choose option two. Getting Hank out. She looked at him and knew it was the right thing to do. His smile had faded completely now, because he knew what she was going to do. "Don't do it, I will try". She got angry and before she knew it she was shouting at him. "you said that the last time when I broke up with you! But all you cared about back then was if I didn't told your other girlfriend about us! You're hopeless and you don't deserve me, now GET LOST!" she shouted at him, almost losing it.  
**_  
This is the potential breakup song  
Our album needs just one  
Oh baby please  
Please tell me  
This is the potential make-up song  
Please just admit you're wrong  
Which will it be?  
Which will it be?_**

He got away as soon as he could. He didn't wanted to stay and make her even more angry. He had lost and she was really clear about that. When he got away, she finally closed the door and walked over to her couch again. She turned of the TV and cried about everything and that it just had to happen to her.


	7. Her point of view

Her point of view

The team was sitting at the diner. Grissom and Sara didn't wanted to sit close to each other. There was to much tension. She could see he had been with that other woman again. She dumped Hank to be with him and he had been somewhere else when she came to his house that same night. Could it ever go right? The radio started to play a new song, bring me to life from Evanescence.

**_How can you see into my eyes  
Like open doors  
Leading you down into my core  
Where I've become so numb  
_****_Without a soul  
My spirit sleeping somewhere cold  
Until you find it there and lead it back home_**

Why had he been with her, that dominatrix? Was that the one he loved? How could she make clear to him that she loved him more then she loved someone else, that he was the one for her? So much questions and no answers. She had to think.  
**_  
(Wake me up)  
Wake me up inside  
(I can't wake up)  
Wake me up inside  
(Save me)  
Call my name and save me from the dark  
(Wake me up)  
Bid my blood to run  
(I can't wake up)  
Before I come undone  
(Save me)  
Save me from the nothing I've become_**

The first question she had. Why was he there? She didn't wanted to think about that. She had a lot of options in her head, from them just talking to him declaring his love for that other woman and sleeping with her. She really didn't wanted to think about that, so she tried to calm down. She still was in the diner with the rest of the team. And him.  
**_  
Now that I know what I'm without  
You can't just leave me  
Breathe into me and make me real  
Bring me to life_**

The next question. Was that other woman his love? She didn't wanted to think about that either, so she just got on to the next one.  
**_  
(Wake me up)  
Wake me up inside  
(I can't wake up)  
Wake me up inside  
(Save me)  
Call my name and save me from the dark  
(Wake me up)  
Bid my blood to run  
(I can't wake up)  
Before I come undone  
(Save me)  
Save me from the nothing I've become  
Bring me to life  
(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)  
Bring me to life_**

The last question. How could she ever tell him she loved him? He wasn't listening to her every time she tried. He wasn't paying attention to everything she said to him, he didn't get the thing inside it, he didn't understood it was about her love for him. Why was he so stubborn? He was really lovely and just the only one for her, but he didn't understood that, he thought he was too old for her.  
**_  
Frozen inside without your touch  
Without your love darling  
Only you are the life among the dead_**

She had listened to those lines. It was true. Why couldn't he see that?  
**_  
All this time I can't believe I couldn't see  
Kept in the dark  
But you were there in front of me  
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems  
Got to open my eyes to everything  
Without a thought without a voice without a soul  
Don't let me die here  
There must be something more  
Bring me to life_**

She chuckled. That man sang everything she wanted to hear from Grissom. And still she didn't heard it from him. She could say to herself that it was him singing this, but that wouldn't be real, she wanted some real memories, she wanted him. She almost started to cry.  
**_  
(Wake me up)  
Wake me up inside  
(I can't wake up)  
Wake me up inside  
(Save me)  
Call my name and save me from the dark  
(Wake me up)  
Bid my blood to run  
(I can't wake up)  
Before I come undone  
(Save me)  
Save me from the nothing I've become  
Bring me to life  
(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)  
Bring me to life_**

She really felt like crying. She excused herself quickly, got to her car and drove home, not knowing Grissom had done the same thing at exactly the same time, leaving the rest of team stunned in their seats.


	8. His point of view

His point of view

The team was sitting at the diner. Grissom and Sara didn't wanted to sit close to each other. There was to much tension. He knew she had dumped Hank. He could see it. And he was with that other woman, asking advise on his love for her. She had been at his house, he could see that. Could it ever go right? The radio started to play a new song, bring me to life from Evanescence.

_**How can you see into my eyes  
Like open doors  
Leading you down into my core  
Where I've become so numb without a soul  
My spirit sleeping somewhere cold  
Until you find it there and lead it back home**_

What did she thought about him, about him being with that other woman? Why did she even dated Hank? And how could he possible be the one she loved, how could he love her so much, just how? So much questions and no answers. He had to think

_**(Wake me up)  
Wake me up inside  
(I can't wake up)  
Wake me up inside  
(Save me)  
Call my name and save me from the dark  
(Wake me up)  
Bid my blood to run  
(I can't wake up)  
Before I come undone  
(Save me)  
Save me from the nothing I've become**_

The first question he had. What did she thought about him? He didn't wanted to think about that. He had a lot of options, from her loving him to her telling she hated him and that she never wanted to see him again. He really didn't wanted to think about that, so he tried to calm down. He still was in the diner with the rest of the team. And her.

**_Now that I know what I'm without  
You can't just leave me  
Breathe into me and make me real  
Bring me to life_**

The next question. Why did she dated Hank? He didn't wanted to think about that either, so he just got to the next one.

_**(Wake me up)  
Wake me up inside  
(I can't wake up)  
Wake me up inside  
(Save me)  
Call my name and save me from the dark  
(Wake me up)  
Bid my blood to run  
(I can't wake up)  
Before I come undone  
(Save me)  
Save me from the nothing I've become  
Bring me to life  
(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)  
Bring me to life**_

The last question. How could he love her so much? His heart took over his brain. It clouded his judgement and got him speechless more then one time. This woman was the only one he really loved, more then anyone else. He knew what she meant every time she talked to him. Why did he acted so stubborn? Why didn't he told himself to just go for it? She was the only one for him, but he kept making up lame excuses.

_**Frozen inside without your touch  
Without your love darling  
Only you are the life among the dead**_

He had listened to those lines. It was true. Why didn't he acted on that?

_**All this time I can't believe I couldn't see  
Kept in the dark  
But you were there in front of me  
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems  
Got to open my eyes to everything  
Without a thought without a voice without a soul  
Don't let me die here  
There must be something more  
Bring me to life**_

He chuckled. That man sang everything he wanted to say to Sara. And still he couldn't say it. He had to tell her how he felt. He wanted to tell her everything he thought about her, he wanted to be with her, he wanted her. He almost started to cry.

_**(Wake me up)  
Wake me up inside  
(I can't wake up)  
Wake me up inside  
(Save me)  
Call my name and save me from the dark  
(Wake me up)  
Bid my blood to run  
(I can't wake up)  
Before I come undone  
(Save me)  
Save me from the nothing I've become  
Bring me to life  
(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)  
Bring me to life**_

He really felt like crying. He excused herself quickly, got to his car and drove home, not knowing Sara had done the same thing at exactly the same time, leaving the rest of team stunned in their seats.


	9. Finally there

Finally there

Grissom was doing some paperwork. No, he was sitting at a desk with paperwork and thinking. Just wandering in his thoughts and not knowing where to think about. He was still doing that when the radio played a new song.

**_closer  
closer  
closer  
closer  
_**  
immediately there were memories of Sara coming back and he started to think about her.

**_Turn the lights off in this place  
And she shines just like a star  
And I swear I know her face  
I just don't know who you are  
Turn the music up in here  
I still hear her loud and clear  
Like she's right there in my ear  
Telling me  
that she wants to own me  
To control me  
Come closer  
Come closer_**

she really shined, every time he looked at her. He just didn't knew what to do, or how to ask her out. It was like she pulled him to her and he pushed her away at the same time. And he did pushed her away, even if he didn't wanted to. One day she asked him out and before he knew what he did, he had said no. he still could hear the words she had said. 'By the time you figure it out, you really might be too late'. He couldn't get them out of his head  
**_  
And I just can't pull myself away  
Under Her Spell I can't break  
I just cant stop  
I just cant stop  
I just cant stop  
I just cant stop _**

He really couldn't pull himself away. She had him captured, she was in his mind 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year. He had tried talking with someone, but in the end she got hurt, he got hurt because he had hurt her and she was still in his mind.  
**_  
And I just can't bring myself away  
But I don't want to escape  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop_**

Then he had tried to just look what would happen. He wanted to confess his feelings, but in the end it had gone wrong. He confessed his feelings about her in front of a suspect and she had been listening. She thought it was about that woman he had gone to for advise.  
**_  
I can feel her on my skin  
I can taste her on my tongue  
She's the sweetest taste of sin  
The more I get the more I want  
She wants to own me...  
Come closer  
She says "come closer"_**

And then, one time he had kissed her. He could remember every moment. He had told her he loved her, to explain everything he had confessed. She came closer and suddenly his brain didn't worked anymore. She kissed him passionately and he just kissed her back. but unfortunately his brain kicked in after a short period of time and told him the excuses he told himself all the time. He was her boss, he couldn't get involved with her. He listened to his brain and just had sent her away.

**_And I just can't pull myself away  
Under Her Spell I can't break  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop_**

After that, he started to dream about her more. And every time he dreamt about her, the dreams became more and more passionate. He dreamt of her kissing him, holding him and even sleep with him. But he knew he couldn't be with her, he was her boss.  
**_  
And I just can't bring myself away  
But I don't want to escape  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop_**

Damn, he was using the same excuse again. Why should he want to let her go? He just wanted to be with her, to make her happy. But the age difference was to big and she should be looking for someone younger to make her happy, she deserved that.  
**_  
Come closer  
Come closer  
Come closer  
Come closer  
Come closer  
Come closer  
Come closer_**

But still, he wanted to be close to her, he couldn't live without her. Why did it have to be so difficult? Why did he even asked to work with him, knowing he would be her boss then, that he would say to himself that he would think he took advantage of her because she was working beneath him?

**_  
I just can't stop nooooo  
I just can't stop nooooo  
I just can't stop nooooo  
I just can't stop nooooo_**

he just couldn't stop thinking about her, he had to do something. What should he do? Go to that woman for advise again? No, he would hurt her with that and that was the last thing he wanted to do right now. He was going crazy, not knowing what to do, but knowing he should do something.  
**_  
And I just can't pull myself away  
Under Her Spell I can't break  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop _**

How did she got him under her spell? What was different about her, what made her different then any other woman in the world, so different that he loved her? And how could he resist?  
**_  
And I just can't bring myself away  
But I don't want to escape  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop_**

No, the question should be, how could he be wanting to resist her? He was in love, more then he ever was before. And he had to let her know. He had to go. He had made up his mind.  
**_  
And I just can't pull myself away  
Under Her Spell I can't break  
I just cant stop  
I just cant stop  
I just cant stop  
I just cant stop  
I just cant stop_**

He took his car keys and put on his coat.

_And that was ne-yo with closer, next on is..._

He put his radio off and got outside to his car. When he drove away, he just hoped he wasn't to late.


	10. Life is changing

Life is changing

Sara was sitting on the couch and just changing channels, because she didn't found anything she liked. After a few minutes she came across the music channel. It just started to play a new song.

**_I go oooh-ooh, you go aaah-aah  
Lalalala - lalalala  
I get lalalalalalala  
I wanna, wanna, wanna get, get, get what I want  
don't stop _**

Images of Grissom came to her mind. She just let them. She was used to it. She just couldn't stop thinking about him.  
**_  
Give me give me give me what you got, got  
Cause I can't wait, wait, wait any more, more, more, more.  
Don't even talk about the consequence  
Cause right now you're the only thing that's making any sense to me_**

She wanted him so badly. She couldn't care what would happen, if they just were together. She had to be with him, if not she would feel really depressed. She just couldn't wait anymore, if she didn't got to be with him, she would go away and try to start a new life far away from here.

**_And I don't give a damn what they say or what they think, think  
Cause you're the only one that's on my mind  
I'll never ever let you leave me  
I'll try to stop time for ever never wanna hear you say goodbye. (bye bye bye)_**

But still, she didn't wanted to run. She had a good life here. And she knew she couldn't forget him, even if she ran to the other side of the world. She just couldn't. She didn't care about how the rest of the lab would take it, she just didn't want him to leave, she didn't want him to say goodbye and the only thing she could think of to let him stay was just trying to get over him.  
**_  
I feel so untouched  
And I want you so much  
That I just can't resist you  
It's not enough to say that I miss you  
I feel so untouched right now  
Need you so much  
some how  
I can't forget you  
I've gone crazy from the moment I met you_**

She fell in love with him the first time she saw him. She couldn't resist trying to be with him. She just wanted him to kiss her, to touch her, to let him say he loved her. She needed him, she couldn't live without him, why didn't he saw that?  
**_  
Untouched  
And I need you so much_**

God, she really wanted to be with him so badly.  
**_  
See you breathe you I want to be you  
Alalala alalala  
You can take, take, t-take, take time, time  
To live, live the way you gonna, gonna live your life_**

One day he had spend a night at someone else's place. How hurt she had been when she found out. She just wanted to be him for a moment, to know why he had gone to that place, to know how he really felt. It didn't worked. Of course not, she couldn't get into his brain. He was too busy with avoiding her.  
**_  
Give me give me give me all of you, you  
Don't be scared  
To see through the loneliness of one more, more, more  
don't even think about what's right or wrong or wrong or right  
'cause in the end it's only you and me and no one else is gonna be around  
to answer all the questions left behind  
And you and I are meant to be so even if the world falls down today  
You've still got me to hold you up, up  
and I will never let you down, down_**

She wanted all of him, why was he so scared? It was wrong, she knew. He was her boss. But why care about that when you're in love? Why just think about rules when you could spend time with your soul mate? 'cause in the end, it's just going to you and your soul mate, no one will be around to say you can't be together. Why couldn't he see she was lonely and he was the only one who could make her feel better again. They were meant to be. She would do everything to be with him and she would never let him down.  
**_  
I feel so untouched  
And I want you so much  
That I just can't resist you  
It's not enough to say that I miss you  
I feel so untouched right now  
Need you so much  
some how  
I can't forget you  
I've gone crazy from the moment I met you_**

She just had to be with him, she had to hold him and tell him she loved him. But he wouldn't even listen. Lately he paired her with everyone but him and he was in his office all the time to do paperwork. She didn't have to be a CSI to see he was avoiding her.  
**_  
untouched  
_****_untouched  
_****_untouched  
_****_untouched  
_****_untouched_**

He was avoiding her since they had kissed. That had felt so right. He had confessed to a suspect he loved her and she was standing just at the other side of the one-way window. When she wanted him to explain, he did. She moved a bit closer and in a moment her lips were on his. It felt so great and natural she deepened the kiss. But after a moment, he stopped and had just sent her out of his office. After that he had been avoiding her, like it never happened  
**_  
alalala alalala  
_****_untouched  
alalala alalala_**

She felt like crying, why had her life to be like this? She tried to forget him before, by dating another man. but that man turned out to be cheating on her and she still couldn't forget him.  
**_  
I feel so untouched  
And I want you so much  
That I just can't resist you  
It's not enough to say that I miss you  
I feel so untouched right now  
Need you so much  
some how  
I can't forget you  
I've gone crazy from the moment I met you_**

She heard her cellphone ring. She didn't answered. She didn't care. She had made up her mind. If she got away from all this, she still couldn't forget about him. But if she stayed she only got more depressed every time he rejected her. She had to go. Slowly she got up from the couch and walked to her bedroom, to pack her stuff

**_I feel so untouched  
And I want you so much  
That I just can't resist you  
It's not enough to say that I miss you  
I feel so untouched right now  
Need you so much  
some how  
I can't forget you  
I've gone crazy from the moment I met you_**

She had placed all her clothes in a bag when she saw it. The little butterfly statue he had gave her when she came here. She couldn't go away, she just would say to herself to go back and try again. But it would never happen. She couldn't help but cry. She walked back to the couch again and sat down. She just didn't knew what to do, she couldn't forget about him but she couldn't be with him either. The only way to forget him was to die. But she really didn't wanted to, she wanted to live, that was the thing she had learned when her mother killed her father. She started to lie down and silently cried some more.  
**_  
untouched  
untouched  
_****_untouched_**

The song had ended. And, although she was still alive, her life had ended too.

_That were the Veronicas with untouched, stay tuned to hear some more. We'll be back..._

She turned of her TV and at that moment she heard someone knock at the door of her apartment. She sighed, but when the person at the other side knocked again, she got op to open it.


	11. The word is love

**a small author note, my attempt for smut is in this chapter**

The word is love

She got up to open the door. When she did, she was shocked. Why was he here, couldn't he just let her alone with her thoughts? He just came to take her to a scene, that she knew for sure. But she didn't wanted to come, she just wanted to be alone. "Why are you here?" she heard herself ask, not wanting him to answer.

He saw she had cried immediately. No, he wasn't to late, was he? He didn't wanted to hurt her, he never did. Right now, he just wanted to kiss her, but he knew he had to tell her first, otherwise it would look a bit strange. "Can I come in?" he asked.

Sara frowned. That wasn't the response she expected. But she liked it, he wasn't here to tell her to take her to a crime scene or to talk about a case. Or at least not, she hoped. "sure, come in" she told him and she closed the door behind him.

He walked over to the couch and sat down. She sat down next to him, a little further away then people normally sit. He just hoped that, if he would start explaining, she would come closer. "I just want to tell you something, and please not interrupt me" he said, looking into her eyes.

She sat down next to him, not to close. If she was any closer, she would have taken him, here and now, but she really wanted to know why he was here, and she didn't wanted to scare him away again. "sure, go on" she told him, trying to control herself.

He didn't knew what to do, he never did anything like this before. He just wanted to say how he felt, but how, she really was the one. He decided to let his heart take over and started to relax. He felt it was right and started to speak.

"Sara, from the moment I've met you, you were so beautiful, I just couldn't take my eyes of you. But I knew we couldn't be together, you were so beautiful and deserved someone younger then me and I had to go back to Las Vegas. But then you came after me, I offered you a job and you took the offer. I was really happy, but that changed when I realized I couldn't be with you because of the rules. I've blamed myself for a really long time, but I knew you liked it here and I started to tell myself it was good this way."

She wanted to interrupt him, but he just stopped her with one look and continued.

"But after a while, I got second thoughts. I started dreaming about you and I just wanted to be with you. I knew you loved me and wanted this too, but I was to stubborn to give in. I had to do something, but I didn't knew what to. The dreams became more and more... passionate, and when I heard a song today, I just knew it was time to say what I want to say now"

Sara had listened and she started to feel better. "What do you want to say now?" she asked, knowing what he was telling her.

He turned to her and just did it, he said everything he wanted to say. "I wanted to tell you I loved you, I loved you since the day I've met you and I can't live without you. It's all so clear now." he got down on one knee and took a little velvet box out of his pocket. "Sara, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, would you be my wife?" he looked at her and saw a tear traveling down her cheek. He just waited until she said something. After what looked like forever she finally spoke. "yes..." she said. He took the ring out of the box and placed it on her finger. "I don't know what to say, I... I..." Sara said, before Grissom placed his finger on her lips. "then don't talk" he said softly, before he kissed her. She deepened the kissed and he pushed her down on the couch and on the remote. The TV switched on and the music channel softly started to play a new song, Sara Bareilles with one sweet love.

**_Just about the time the shadows call  
I undress my mind and dare you to follow  
Paint a portrait of my mystery  
Only close my eyes and you are here with me  
A nameless face to think I see  
To sit and watch the waves with me till there gone  
A heart I'd swear I'd recognize is made out of my own devices  
Could I be wrong?_**

they were still kissing and Sara pulled him towards her, she never wanted to let him go.  
**_  
The time that I've taken (Time that I've taken)  
I pray is not wasted (Pray is not wasted)  
Have I already tasted my piece of one sweet love?_**

Grissom couldn't believe he was so lucky and started to remove her top.  
**_  
Sleepless night you creep inside of me  
Paint your shadows on the breath that we share  
You take more then just my sanity  
You take my reason not to care  
No ordinary wings I'll need  
The sky itself will carry me, back to you  
The things I dream that I can do I'll open up the moon for you  
Just come down soon_**

she start unbuttoning his shirt and when she did, she tossed it aside  
**_  
The time that I've taken (Time that I've taken)  
I pray is not wasted (Pray is not wasted)  
Have I already tasted my piece of one sweet love?  
Ready and waiting (Ready and waiting)  
For a heart worth the breaking (Heart worth the breaking)  
But I'd settle for a honest mistake in the name of one sweet love_**

they were both trying to get each other out of there pants. When they finally managed to, they looked at each other to take in everything  
**_  
Savor the sorrow to soften the pain sit on the southern rain  
As I do I don't look don't touch don't do anything  
But hope that there is a you  
The earth that is the space between  
I'd banish it from under me, to get to you  
Your unexpected love provides my solitary's suicide oh  
I wish I knew_**

they kissed again and he unclasped her bra and tossed it to join the rest of the forgotten clothes  
**_  
The time that I've taken (Time that I've taken)  
I pray is not wasted (Pray is not wasted)  
Have I already tasted my piece of one sweet love?  
Ready and waiting (Ready and waiting)  
For a heart worth the breaking (Heart worth the breaking)  
But I'd settle for a honest mistake in the name of one sweet love_**

he pulled down her panties and she reached for his boxers, both in need to feel each other  
**_  
One sweet love.._**

The song had ended, but both were to busy with each other to hear it.


	12. Dreaming of someone

Dreaming of someone

Sara woke up and realized she was lying on the couch. She wanted to cry again, it had just been a dream, he never was in her apartment, he never told her all the stuff she wanted to tell her. She almost started crying, when she heard a key turn in a lock. She saw Grissom walking in with a few groceries and some flowers. "I thought I'd buy you some flowers" he said, walking towards her. She smiled. Was this real? She pinched herself and felt a sting. It was real. "thank you" she whispered. He just looked at her and gave her a small kiss before going into the kitchen and starting to make breakfast. While he did that she looked at her ring. It was a beautiful butterfly that looked like it could fly away any moment.

An hour later they were sitting on the couch again, just changing channels. Sara smiled while she sat close to him, she was finally happy. But still, some things were bothering her. Grissom must have felt that, because he turned to her and asked her if something was wrong. She was silent for a few seconds. "can I ask you a few things?". Grissom said it was alright at the same time a new song started to play. It was I can't explain by k-otic

**_As silence is growing  
Between us, it seems both you and I know  
The words unspoken  
The questions hanging in the air now  
I can see how  
We're getting anywhere  
There's a line between love  
And something else  
We quietly crossed  
The feeling that we both have lost I'm  
Not sure we can  
Ever find again_**

She started. "Gil, why did you waited so long to tell me this? Why did you kissed me and told me to get lost the next minute? And why did you go to lady Heather al those times?". She was still confused, but also wanted some answers. Maybe he could give them.  
**_  
I can't explain  
Why love lost its glow  
And it slipped away  
How did it go  
I just can't say  
My heart leads the way  
When tomorrow comes  
I may be on my way_**

Grissom took her hand in his and started to explain. "the answer to the first question is simple. I didn't knew what to do. I loved you since I met you in San Francisco, but I just couldn't ask you out. I told myself I was too old for you, that you deserved someone younger. I just couldn't see that you wanted to be with me and not with someone else and it took five years for me to discover my own feelings."  
**_  
The future that we  
Once thought we had  
Turned into a past  
Fading fast and  
We tried but couldn't  
Make it last and  
Watched it vanish  
Now we're standing here_**

"The answer to your next question is similar. I just didn't knew what to do. My heart wanted me to kiss you, to hold you and never let you go, but my brain told me I shouldn't do it, that I should be careful and that there could walk someone in every moment. I should have listened to my heart, but my brain took over and I wished I could undo it."  
**_  
I can't explain  
Why love lost its glow  
And it slipped away  
How did it go  
I just can't say  
My heart leads the way  
When tomorrow comes  
I may be gone_**

"And to answer your last question, it wasn't because I loved her. It was because I didn't knew what to do. She could read me like a book and I thought she maybe knew what I should do. I shouldn't have gone to her, I knew it hurt you. So, Sara can you ever forgive me for that? I never meant to hurt you." He said while cupping her face.  
**_  
What's nothing  
What's something  
What's love to you  
What's life about  
Just being_**  
**_Or feeling  
Your soul_**

She almost cried of happiness. He did all that for her. It wasn't about that other woman, everything in his life was about her and everything in her life was about him. She whispered a small yes to him when their eyes met. The slowly turned in for a kiss.

**_I can't explain  
Why love lost its glow  
And it slipped away  
How did it go  
I just can't say  
My heart leads the way  
When tomorrow comes  
I may be on my way_**

They were just kissing when both their cellphones rang. She walked with hers to her bedroom while he stayed in the living room to answer his.

**_I can't explain  
_****_I may be on my way  
_****_My heart leads the way  
When tomorrow comes  
I may be on my way_**

A few minutes later they were ready to go. Catherine had called Sara because she needed someone to help her at her crime scene and Brass had called Grissom because the man who confessed the murder on his wife was back, now confessing to the murder on his brother-in-law. Apparently he wanted to marry the sister of his wife, but didn't realized she was already married. They kissed goodbye and drove off to where they were needed.


	13. Dreaming or not

Dreaming or not

A few months later. Grissom was sleeping. He had a long night and needed some rest before going to work. Today was the day.

**_Lie awake in bed at night  
And think about your life  
Do you want to be different?  
Try to let go of the truth  
The battles of your youth  
Cuz this is just a game_**

Grissom woke up. His alarm was playing a beautiful lie from 30 seconds to mars. He thought about the dream he had. He finally had told Sara how he felt. It really was a beautiful lie. He would have to do it all over. Slowly he let his dream come back to him  
**_  
It's a beautiful lie  
It's the perfect denial  
Such a beautiful lie to believe in  
So beautiful, beautiful it makes me_**

_He was working when Sara came into his office. She was really upset and he asked why. Lady Heather was back. he assured her he wouldn't go to her again and if he would, he would take her with him. She calmed down and gave him a quick kiss. When he had to go to lady Heather for the case, he asked if she would come with him. It wasn't even her case. He could tell she had liked that.  
**  
It's time to forget about the past  
To wash away what happened last  
Hide behind an empty face  
Don't ask too much, just say  
'Cause this is just a game**_

Sara had just found out her mother was released. It was in the middle of the lab. Everyone asked if they could bring her home, but he brought her. She didn't lived in her old apartment anymore, but they had bought a house. He comforted her and said he was there for her. That was all she needed. She fell asleep soon after.  
**  
It's a beautiful lie  
It's the perfect denial  
Such a beautiful lie to believe in  
So beautiful, beautiful it makes me**

Something was wrong. How could he have all those memories when she wasn't here? It was strange. He wanted to wake up fully, but he couldn't. He had to lie down for another minute  
**_  
Everyone's looking at me  
I'm running around in circles, baby  
A quiet desperation's building higher  
I've got to remember this is just a game_**

_He and Sara drove to the lab together. She got out of his car before they were on the parking lot. That was a good thing. Catherine was waiting for her. What wasn't a good thing was that Sara couldn't get her engagement ring off before Catherine saw it. Catherine almost shouted the whole lab to her when she saw it. Sara had to tell her.  
**  
So beautiful, beautiful (so beautiful)  
So beautiful, beautiful (so beautiful)  
So beautiful, beautiful (so beautiful)  
So beautiful, beautiful (so beautiful)**_

Something wasn't right. He knew what. That had happened yesterday. Catherine was waiting for Sara because she suspected she had a boyfriend. So when she saw the ring she was exited she had been right. and when she saw the butterfly she almost fainted because she knew that it was him who bought it. They told her everything and that they wanted the others to know, because they were going to get married soon. She came with a plan immediately.  
**_  
It's a beautiful lie  
It's the perfect denial  
Such a beautiful lie to believe in  
So beautiful, beautiful it makes me_**

The song had ended and he heard his fiancée coming upstairs. He sat up in his bed and smiled when she walked into their bedroom. "I took your suit with me too, this is going to be perfect" she said, before giving him a quick kiss. She wanted to walk away, but he grabbed her wrist. She put the clothes down and came to him. "If you wanted me to stay, all you had to do is ask" she whispered softly before kissing him again. Soon they had forgotten everything around them.


	14. Trying to be found

Trying to be found

Sara and Grissom were sitting in Catherines car, with the very happy owner behind the steering wheel. Cath had came up with a plan to let the others find out about the couple. They would go to a club and participate in the karaoke. Catherine had found songs she thought that would help and even had a plan b, for when the others didn't found out after the two songs. She was really happy that she had found out first. Sometimes she could feel the feelings between those two. Like now. They were sitting in the backseat and she knew what they were thinking. So she drove inside a gas station, parked her car in a dark corner, excused herself and walked away.

The two looked at each other. They knew it was one of Catherines plans, but they didn't care. They lent in for a kiss and after a minute they started talking about the plan Catherine came up with. They thought it was just Catherine, she always had a plan. They assured that they both wanted this and kissed again.

Catherine smiled. She had been hiding behind a sign all the time. She had seen the couple kiss, then break away to talk about something and then kiss again. She thought about Warrick and how she got him. She had 'accidentally' ran out of gas when she knew there was no cellphone service. after an hour they were together and she 'remembered' that she had some gasoline in the back of her car. She smiled at the thought and walked back to the couple in the car. Her plans always worked.

Half an hour later Catherine started the plan. She had rented one of the rooms in the club and had a karaoke set installed. She asked the rest if they wanted to come. They all got up and walked to the room. There Catherine said she wanted to choose who would go first. She pretended she was thinking and then pointed at Sara. Soon Sara was up on the stage and the song started to play. It was natalie with love you so.

**_Ooh  
Ooh, ooh  
Ooh, ooh_**

Sara was looking at Grissom. She was pouring everything she felt in this song. She was happy with him. She just couldn't believe how lucky she was.  
**_  
From the minute that you got my attention  
I was taken and I have to mention  
I was trying to not let it show  
But I knew that I wasn't gonna let you go  
From the way that you came up to me  
Looking all hot with the style that threw me  
No one would've ever known that  
You would be the one to take this heart and hold it_**

She thought back to those few days in San Francisco. He was teaching and she couldn't show she loved him from the moment she met him. Her classmates and teachers wouldn't understand. She told her friend, but that resulted in having no friends at all in record time. She just got that friend from telling everyone else. She just was going to every lecture he gave. Eventually it worked, but he had to go back that night, so not much happened.  
**_  
You got that extraordinary way  
Got to be next to ya every single day  
You do something that I just can't explain  
Wanna take the chance and tell you you're the one for me_**

When he called her, she was so happy. But when she came there, he had built walls around his heart to keep her out. She tried to break them time after time, but she couldn't do it. That's why she started to date Hank.  
**_  
Boy, I love you so  
Just look in my eyes, they'll tell you where this could go  
Yeah  
Do you know that  
Boy, I love you so  
Look in these eyes, they'll tell you where this could go  
I just want you to know_**

When she found out Hank had cheated on her, she actually was happy she could break up with him. Every time she saw Grissom she felt hurt because she dated someone else. It was strange, but it just was that way. She hoped that one day he looked into her eyes and saw the love deep inside them.  
**_  
You could say anything you want to  
No stress 'cause I understand you  
We gotta vibe you can't define  
Want everyone to know that boy is mine  
We walk by and they stop and stare at the way you hold me  
When you take me there  
At times I feel I lose control  
And forget everyone but the hand I'm holding_**

And then, on one day, that woman came. That woman who could read him like a book. She knew they were just friends, but she was afraid she would loose him to her. And one day she could see they slept together. How sad she became of that. She didn't wanted to see him for a while.  
**_  
You got that extraordinary way  
Got to be next to ya every single day  
You do something that I just can't explain  
Wanna take the chance and tell you you're the one for me_**

A few weeks later Catherine blew up the lab. She was sitting outside and he came to her. He was worried. And he had called her 'honey'. She was happy and tried asking him out again. He said no and didn't knew what to do about it. She just said to him that, by the time he had figured it out, that it might be to late. She didn't believed what she said herself, she would always be waiting for him.  
**_  
Boy, I love you so  
Just look in my eyes, they'll tell you where this could go  
Yeah  
Can you feel me  
Boy, I love you so  
Look in these eyes, they'll tell you where this could go  
I just want you to know_**

She turned back to the present and continued with pouring her heart into the song. And all the time she looked at him. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Catherine smiling because she knew what was going on. But the rest looked like they didn't knew. Except for Greg, he looked like he thought it was for him.  
**_  
Please know this  
I'll always be right here  
And you don't have to look  
Nowhere else babe  
Don't think for a minute  
This love will change  
Oh you should know that_**

The song was almost finished and Sara started to feel annoyed. This people, her co-workers, were supposed to be almost the best investigators in Las Vegas and maybe even the rest of the world. Why was it so hard to make them realize something they could have found out a long time ago. Only Cath knew and she only found out because of the ring. She was wearing it now too, she just loved it and where it stood for  
**_  
Boy, I love you so  
Just look in my eyes, they'll tell you where this could go  
Yeah  
Can you feel me  
Boy, I love you so  
Look in these eyes, they'll tell you where this could go  
I just want you to know_**

Sure they had a couple of close calls, like when they were kissing in his office and Warrick came in. Ironically Catherine had saved them by keeping Warrick out of the office for a few seconds by giving him a small kiss. It was just enough time for Grissom to sit down behind his desk so no one could see how he felt. Sara just sat down on the couch and Warrick didn't even noticed her. When Warrick left they continued. A smile came on her face when she thought about that.  
**_  
Boy, I love you so  
Just look in my eyes, they'll tell you where this could go  
Yeah  
Can you feel me  
Boy, I love you so  
Look in these eyes, they'll tell you where this could go  
I just want you to know_**

The song had ended and she walked back to the group. They all told her she was a good singer. But they hadn't found out. Not yet.


	15. Pouring your heart out

Pouring your heart out

Sara was on to chose who was next to sing. Of course she chose Grissom, it was part of Catherines plan and she wanted to hear him sing. She was confused when she saw which song he was going to sing, because it didn't really fitted him. But in the right way you could see it like a love declaration. Grissom got on the stage and the song started to play. It was bittersweet by apocalyptica

**_I'm giving up the ghost of love  
And the shadows cast on devotion  
She is the one that I adore  
Creed of my silent suffocation_**

Grissom knew she had poured her whole heart into her song, so he did the same. Because he had practiced singing the song over and over in his head, he knew exactly how it went. And he thought back to the day that had changed his life.  
**_  
Break this bittersweet spell on me  
Lost in the arms of destiny_**

He was in San Francisco teaching about insects. Most people weren't really interested and were sitting there because they had come for the seminar and didn't want to miss a lecture, but she was different. She was really interested. And after a while he discovered it wasn't only the lecture she was interested in. But it was too late, he had to go back.  
**_  
Bittersweet  
I won't give up  
I'm possessed by her_**

When he got back, she was almost the only thing on his mind. He had a hard time concentrating on cases and felt alone every morning when he came home. When one of his csis was shot, he didn't wasted a second and called her. When he finished the call, he felt bad. He was actually happy he could call her, but it had cost a good person her life to realize it.  
**_  
I'm wearing a cross  
She's turned into my curse  
Break this bittersweet spell on me  
Lost in the arms of destiny_**

Then he withdraw. He saw her come, he saw her trying to get that connection again, but she failed. No, he failed. He had put it all away, afraid of getting hurt. By the time he discovered she never found anyone else, it was too late, he had discarded everything about the seminar.  
**_  
Bittersweet  
I want you  
I'm wanting you  
And I need you  
I'm needing you_**

He turned back to the present and noticed he was still singing. He looked at Sara, saw her smile. And he was happy. He wanted her and needed her, and he had her. It didn't matter it took him so long, she had been waiting for the day he realized his love. And it had came.  
**_  
Break this bittersweet spell on me  
Lost in the arms of destiny  
Break this bittersweet spell on me  
Lost in the arms of destiny_**

Looking at his co-workers, he saw that they still had no idea what was going on. He didn't liked that, because when that was the point, they had to go to plan B. and he really didn't wanted to know what that was. He suspected Catherine thought about something like him and Sara starting to make out in front of everyone. He was not ready to do that yet.  
**_  
Bittersweet_**

As the last notes played, he walked back. he didn't wanted to know what Catherines plan was, but he was about to find out.


	16. Singing together

Singing together

After Grissom had gone back to the table, Catherine just smiled at him. He didn't knew what she was planning, but he choose Greg to sing next. After Greg it was Nicks turn, then Warricks and after a steamy song everyone knew was for Catherine, it was her turn. Sara and Grissom expected her to start telling everyone, but surprisingly she just sang. But after the song, there was a surprise.

"what do you think about singing duets?" Catherine asked to no one in particular. They turned to each other. So this was her second plan, more singing. They just were glad it wasn't something else. Meanwhile Catherine had received good reactions to that plan. "So, because I brought this up, I'm going to choose who are going first" she said, before pretended to think. Sara and Grissom smiled and weren't surprised when she had chosen them. The real shock came when they realized what song Catherine had chosen. It was their song, chris brown featuring jordin sparks with no air.

**_Tell me how I supposed to be with no air_**

Sara sang, before turning to Grissom and singing again.  
**_  
If I should die before I wake  
It's 'cause you took my breath away  
Losing you is like  
living in a world with no air, oh_**

She glanced away from Grissom to look at the rest of the team. She was pleased to seen they were surprised.  
**_  
I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave  
My heart won't move  
It's incomplete  
If there was a way that I can make you understand_**

He had seen the expressions too and he was really happy. Happy that they were here to see this, happy that she was here, happy they could spent their lives together.  
**_  
But how do you expect me  
Live alone with just me  
Cause my world revolves around you  
It's so hard for me to breath_**

Sara thought the song was right. She just couldn't get to sleep when he wasn't there. She had to be with him, he was the only one she loved.  
**_  
Tell me how I supposed to be with no air  
Can't live can't breathe with no air  
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there  
It's no air, no air  
Got me out here in the water so deep  
Tell me how you gon'be without me  
If you ain't here I just can't breathe  
There's no air, no air_**

The rest of the team, without Catherine of course, was sitting stunned in their seats. Sure the had suspected something, but no one could tell they were that much in love. Or that they were together already. Everyone wondered where they had been that they didn't found out, it was so obvious now.  
**_  
No air, air, ohh  
No air, air, noo  
No air, air, ohh ohh  
No air, air_**

everyone was getting themselves together as the couple sang more  
**_  
I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew  
Right off the ground to float to you  
There's no gravity to hold me down for real_**

Grissom looked at Sara and realized it was real, she had him floating in the clouds and he wouldn't change anything about it. What did he do that he deserved such a beautiful woman? Cause when he knew, he wanted to do it over and better.  
**_  
But somehow I'm still alive inside  
You took my breathe, but I survived  
I don't know how, but I don't even care_**

Sara looked at Grissom. He really took her breath away. Ever since she had met him, she was in love. It was difficult, but they managed to come together after breaking a few rules. But they didn't care. What are rules if you're in love? They were happy together and if the crime lab didn't wanted that, they just stayed together and one of them would switch shifts.  
**_  
So how do you expect me  
To live alone with just me  
Cause my world revolves around you  
It's so hard for me to breathe_**

she poured her heart out in this song. How couldn't she? Every time she was around him she just wanted to tell him everything she felt and thought. It took him a while to realize why, but she had him, she finally had him. And she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.  
**_  
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air  
Can't live, can't breathe with no air  
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there  
It's no air, no air  
Got me out here in the water so deep  
Tell me how you gon'be without me, yeah  
If you ain't here I just can't breathe  
It's no air, no air_**

they both sang to each other with so much feeling, everyone thought they were stupid for not noticing earlier. After all, they were investigators. And the chemistry between those two they just couldn't ignore, it was obviously there.  
**_  
No air, air no  
No air, air no  
No air, air oh oh  
No air, no more  
Ooh baby ooh  
Its no air no air  
Hey oh  
No air oooh_**

at a moment, Catherine saw someone and jumped of her seat to get the person she saw. It was Brass. A few seconds later she walked in with him and he saw the couple  
**_  
OOH!_**

He couldn't believe what he saw  
**_  
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air  
Can't live, can't breathe with no air  
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there  
It's no air, no air  
Got me out here in the water so deep  
Tell me how you gon'be without me,  
if you ain't here I just can't breathe  
_****_There's no air!  
No air, air  
No air, air  
Baby yeah  
Cause my world revolves around you  
It's so hard for me to breathe_**

Brass looked at the couple and wanted to wave hello, but the two were too busy looking to each other to notice him. He smiled and thought it was good for them. They needed each other. He turned to Catherine, who was the only one who wasn't shocked and asked how long the two on stage were together.  
**_  
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air  
Can't live, can't breathe with no air  
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there  
It's no air, no air_**

When Catherine told him that they had been together for a few months and they were going to get married soon, he almost fell of his chair. He couldn't believe he never saw it. He thought about the two of them and silently wished them the best. After all, they were to busy with singing to hear him.  
**_  
Got me out here in the water so deep  
_****_Tell me how you gon'be without me  
_****_If you ain't here I just can't breathe  
It's no air, no air_**

the couple looked at each other and then looked at the people watching them. And they saw Jim. They looked at each other again and smiled. They didn't have to talk to each other to understand what they were thinking. _He gets to know too  
**  
No air, air oh  
No air, air oh no  
No air, air no air  
Ooh no air**_

After the song, they walked to their co-workers and smiled when every single one of then congratulated them. They looked at each other and at that moment nothing mattered. They just kissed and walked away, leaving everyone stunned.


	17. The wedding

The wedding

A few weeks later, everything was set. The marriage was about to begin. Sara had asked Catherine to be maid of honor and Grissom had asked Brass to be his best man. It was a beautiful ceremony, there were flowers everywhere and there were butterflies flying around. After they both said 'I do' it was time for a dance. The song that played first was Hoobastank with From the heart.

**_There was a time when our dreams felt so real  
Just out of reach but not too far to feel  
Together we'd finally make them come true  
'Cause anything's possible when I was with you  
But they kept on saying we'd never amount to anything_**

it was a song that was right, they fought for this relationship and wouldn't wanted to have it another way, because it made their relationship stronger. They felt on top of the world when they were together and they never listened to everyone who said that they didn't belonged together, even when they were saying it themselve  
**_  
All of the dreams we built up from the ground  
They never believed them they just tore them down  
We will rebuild them from the start  
_****_We will rebuild them from the heart_**

all that they wanted, they built it up from the ground. They didn't care for the rules, they didn't care for what other people were thinking, they just wanted to be together and marrying was the last step to really be together. Now no one could get them apart.  
**_  
'Cause once all we wanted seemed so far away  
But with ever step it was closer each day  
The more that we tried it was within our grasp  
The more that they told us that it wouldn't last  
And everyone said we were crazy for giving up everything_**

they both thought back to the first time they met. They were in San Francisco and fell in love the first time they saw each other. They had a great time, but he had to go back. he said her he would never forget her and that she was the only one in his life. She told him the same.  
**_  
All of the dreams we built up from the ground  
They never believed them they just tore them down  
We will rebuild them from the start  
_****_We will rebuild them from the heart  
from the heart  
from the heart  
from the heart_**

But when she came to Las Vegas, everything was different. She saw him getting more and more withdrawn and silently wondered if he had met someone else. He did exactly the same thing and when they finally realized that it wasn't like that, it had gone all wrong. She had dated someone else and he had gone to another woman and had spend the night there.  
**_  
All of the dreams we built up from the ground  
They never believed them they just tore them down  
We will rebuild them from the start  
_****_We will rebuild them from the heart_**

But they fought. And they won. They finally had each other, after all the things they had gone through. And they were happy. It was the only thing that counted.  
**_  
All of the dreams we built up from the ground  
They never believed them they just tore them down  
We will rebuild them from the start  
_****_We will rebuild them from the heart  
from the heart  
from the heart_**

When the song ended, they got of the dance floor and sat down. Everyone came by to congratulate them. After a few hours the party was about to finish and everyone was getting ready to go home. Gil was nice and gave her her coat "shall we, Mrs. Grissom?". She smiled and replied "Yes, Mr. Grissom, I think it's time to go home". They walked out of the building and to there car to drive home, to spend the first night as husband and wife together.

**So this was my story. First I want to say sorry for not adding the wedding night, but I still can't write smut and it had to be 16 chapters. Maybe next year! But for now, happy birthday csi-kirsty and have fun!**


End file.
